I’m going to be completely honest and confess that I generally don’t like people. It’s actually a joke amongst my close friends that they all thought I hated them before they got to know me. I would like to attribute that to my natural R.B.F. Before you think I’m the worst pastor’s wife there is, let me go back and say that I am naturally introverted. When so many people are excited to see you on Sunday mornings and at events, it’s often hard to be an introverted pastor’s wife. If you are a total extrovert like my husband, let me explain a little of what that means.
Introverted pastor’s wives don’t get energy from being with large groups of people
If you see me at a social event you can probably find me in the corner talking to a couple people (who I already know) while my husband is out mingling and being the life of the party. I get anxious at the thought of going to a party with a bunch of people I don’t know.
Introverted pastor’s wives get anxious at the thought of meeting new people
I know the expectation is that the pastor’s wife is super nice and greets new people, but don’t expect me to come and introduce myself to you. I spent the whole car ride there preparing myself that there would be people I didn’t know and I will spend the remainder of the evening with a pit in my stomach. However, don’t be shy about introducing yourself to me! I promise I will warm up eventually.
Introverted pastor’s wives need time by themselves to recharge
Don’t hate me when I convince my husband to leave early either. While he is full of energy from a great night with a bunch of strangers, I feel exhausted and need to go home and be alone.
You may think I’m trying to make excuses for being selfish but it’s actually quite the opposite. You see, lately the internet has been inundated with news about a young pastor’s wife who was murdered while her husband was at the gym in the morning. I actually read about it when I got up to nurse my daughter, while my husband was at the gym. Let’s just say this story hits close to home. I watched a few testimony videos her friends made and everyone talked about her life and how amazing and selfless she was.
People said that while her husband was being the life of the party she would quietly slip in back and start talking to everyone. The amazing part was that she would somehow manage to make you feel like you were the most important person in the room. After reading those testimonies I immediately felt convicted. Do I love others that much? Or am I too busy thinking about how uncomfortable I am to worry about what other people are going through? Have I impacted anyone’s life in a positive way?
I know God has a place in the world for introverts, and I can’t help but think it probably isn’t standing in the corner alone. Right now, being introverted is a weakness because I’m using it to hide behind, instead of glorifying God through it. Lately my prayer has been that God would help me step out of my comfort zone and instead focus on loving people and I know God will be glorified through this weakness if I give it up to Him.
“But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me.” – 2nd Corinthians 12:9