I am so excited about this guest post! He’s an amazing dad and such a hard worker. The author is my husband. Yes, you heard that right! I always talk about him and he’s such a good sport so I decided to let him share his heart today.
Last week my wife posted an article entitled, “I’m a SAHM, Not a Maid”. As her husband and the pastor that allows her to be labeled “a pastor’s wife”, that article was clearly about yours truly. I am also a working dad. I know what you’re thinking, but I promise this isn’t what you think this is. I’m not here to defend myself. Actually, I’m here writing to do just the opposite.
I grew up in a house with a SAHM! And I loved it! I grew up in a house with a dad who was self-employed for much of my upbringing and worked his butt off to provide for our family. So I knew from the moment we found out our son was coming into our lives, I wanted his mommy to stay at home. So we started planning. We began to do everything we could think of and do to help our son (and now daughter’s) mommy stay at home. Pslam 37:4 says, “Take delight in the Lord, and he will give you your heart’s desires.” I don’t know how it happened other than God gave us the desire of our heart, because she’s obviously at SAHM at this point.
With that meant changes though. That meant instead of meandering into work whenever it felt right, I get up and am out the door before the rest of the family is out of bed (my wife writes about it here). It meant that instead of coming home earlier than most (or having the time to run over to the gym for a side job of coaching a local basketball team) I routinely have to stay late and run into the house just in time for dinner. It meant missing bedtime usually at least once a week for a meeting or something else at the church. But I’m okay with that for one reason: because I know my kids are with their mommy.
I have our kids 1-2 days a week while my wife works outside of the house to help make this SAHM thing work (I know, does that really count?). Anyway, the two days that I’m usually the most tired at the end of the day are (yes, you guessed it) Sundays and the day(s) I have our kiddos. Guys, I’m exhausted. I love our kids. They are super cute. And fun. And most importantly, I love them. But sometimes they drive me nuts. I don’t have it in me to be with them all day, every day. It’s not in me. I couldn’t do it. That’s why I wanted my kiddos to have a SAHM, because I was never going to be that for them.
I like going to work and interacting with other adults. I like having lunch meetings (mostly just lunch without kids). I like solving problems, making organizational decisions, leading others, teaching, and being a pastor. I’d much rather be a pastor than a stay-at-home-dad. But not because I think my “job” is better or more important than my wife’s “job”. It’s because I could never do her job.
I was at a conference a few years ago and heard Andy Stanley (Pastor of North Point Community Church) say something that has stuck with me: “Your greatest contribution to the kingdom of God may not be something you do, but someone you raise.” I know I work a lot. And I know it’s easy for me to get caught up in the “do’s” all in the name of “the kingdom of God”. One of the easy signs that the “do” is getting in the way of “our who” is when our son says, “Dada, bye-bye.” if all I do is walk towards the door, pick up a pair of shoes, or move my backpack to put it away. It’s in those moments that I begin to feel like I’m selling our kids short. But I can honestly say I’ve never felt like “we” have been selling our kids short because of their mommy. Because of the job she wouldn’t trade for the world. A job I could never do.
So here’s to my wife. The mother of my children. My best friend and one of the funniest people I know (don’t tell her I said that). And here’s to all the SAHM’s out there. I could never do your job. And on the days that you feel over-looked and under-appreciated, remember that your greatest contribution to the Kingdom of God may not be what you do, but that crazy little child that just unfolded all your laundry.
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